Too Busy to Connect: Avoiding Invalidation in our Communication

Do we care about talking to each other anymore, or are we settling for mostly texts, emails, tweets, and similar electronic quickies?

We often think that quick communication saves time. This is true in some cases. But relying only on cursory communication runs the risk of misunderstanding, and a lot of hoopla about “what did she mean by that e-mail?” Once those questions get started, they take on a life of their own and end up as huge time wasters, not time savers, and the intent of the communication may be lost or so badly misinterpreted that trust goes astray in the translation.

Let’s regroup and think about the advantages of face-to-face communication, what might get in the way, and types of skills that promote cooperation even in difficult instances.

Face to face communication motivated by care and concern can be so meaningful. But meaningful discourse has a lot of components, many of which are ignored—often unintentionally—no matter how many training classes are offered on the subject of communication.

What does invalidation look like? How do we invalidate each other in our conversations?

Negative comments are remembered much more than positive regard. In the adult world, we may be thicker-skinned, but we remember. There are at least 10 common ways we often invalidate others every day.

>>Maxine Kamin, president of TOUCH Consulting, Inc., develops this idea in a free resource you can download here.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Maxine Kamin

Maxine Kamin is president of TOUCH Consulting, Inc.: The Personal Touch in Business. She is an author of internationally recognized books and training guides for the American Society for Training and Development such as 10 Steps to Successful Customer Service and Customer Service Training.

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comment_post_ID); ?> Thank you Ed for sharing your insights into the Church Growth Movement. I have my reservations with Church Growth models because it has done more damage than good in the Body of Christ. Over the years, western churches are more focused on results, formulas and processes with little or no emphasis on membership and church discipline. Pastors and vocational leaders are burnt out because they're overworked. I do believe that the Church Growth model is a catalyst to two destructive groups: The New Apostolic Reformation and the Emerging Church. Both groups overlap and have a very loose definition. They're both focus on contemporary worship, expansion of church brand (franchising), and mobilizing volunteering members as 'leaders' to grow their ministry. Little focus on biblical study, apologetics and genuine missional work with no agenda besides preaching of the gospel.
 
— Dave
 
comment_post_ID); ?> Thank you for sharing such a good article. It is a great lesson I learned from this article. I am one of the leaders in Emmanuel united church of Ethiopia (A denomination with more-than 780 local churches through out the country). I am preparing a presentation on succession planning for local church leaders. It will help me for preparation If you send me more resources and recommend me books to read on the topic. I hope we may collaborate in advancing leadership capacity of our church. God Bless You and Your Ministry.
 
— Argaw Alemu
 
comment_post_ID); ?> Amen!!
 
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