Words Create Worlds – The Language We Use Shapes the Culture We Lead

by: Eric Geiger

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In his book The Talent Code, Daniel Coyle tells the fascinating story of some experiments that Stanford psychologist and author Carol Dweck has conducted with fifth graders in multiple settings.

The fifth graders were put into two different groups and given the same tests. After completing the first test, the first group was told, “You must be smart at these problems,” and the second group was told, “You must have worked hard at these problems.”

The subtle and small difference made a big impact.

In preparation for the next test, the children were asked if they wanted to try an easier test or a more difficult one. As a group, those affirmed for their hard work wanted the more difficult task and the opportunity to learn. Those affirmed for their intelligence wanted the easy test. Likely they believed intelligence was the chief value, and they feared losing their good standing, their identification as the smart ones. In another round of tests, more difficult in nature, the children who were affirmed for their intelligence gave up much more quickly than those who were affirmed for their hard work.

The students returned to the original test, and the “you must be smart” group scored 20% lower than they did at first. The “you must have worked hard” group improved their scores by 30%.

The point, according to both Coyle and Dweck, is the language “you must have worked hard” fosters motivation and a growth mind-set, while the language “you must be smart” fosters the belief that intelligence is fixed. The small change in language makes a profound impact.

In organizations, in churches, and in families, language matters. Many have said that “words create worlds,” and I have found the phrase to be true. As leaders, the language we use helps shape the cultures we lead.

The words you use to articulate your mission, values, and strategy are essential. You can use language as a powerful tool to bring clarity and direction to the teams you lead and the people you serve. Or you can, as many do, underestimate the power of language and create confusion without careful attention to the words that describe the direction of your organization.

Tags: Attention, Awareness, Brand, Eric Geiger, Language, Words create worlds

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4 Habits of a Discipling Leader

by: Dave Bair

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Over the years, I have worked in a variety of fields, gaining exposure to many different industries. Each industry has unique jargon. Have you ever worked on a cat cracker or executed a turnaround? If so, you probably worked in a refinery. In church, we throw the word ‘discipleship’ around like everybody knows what it means. We talk about needing more of it and how we are really going to focus on it next semester. I was not well versed in church terminology, so I did a bit of research on the word. In addition to discovering this funny video from Tripp and Tyler, I found the major theme of discipleship was ‘following in the ways of someone else’. I love the practical nature of this approach. It is not about reading more books and listening to more sermons or getting another degree. In fairness, I love knowledge and I loved school while I was there. However, real life happens in, well, the real world. What, then, is a disciple?

Disciple = Learner

I had a friend boil all that down for me: to be a disciple is to be a learner. I again went back to our old friend Chris Argyris, who stated (with Donald Schön) that learning is the ability to detect and correct error. We are striving to change our behavior to follow in the ways of Jesus. The best way to do that is to discover when we miss the mark and then get better. Sounds easy, right? There are a few key steps to making that happen consistently for you and for those you lead.

Build a Learning Environment

• Create safety. The foundation of a learning environment is safety. Learners must feel safe enough and confident enough to admit mistakes. First to ourselves, then to our community (family, friends, coworkers, bosses, employees … you name it). This begins with the leader and sets a tone for all disciples. Exposing your own failures, fears, or questions is a sign not of weakness but of strength. This does not mean exposing every detail of your life to everyone; you must use judgement when being vulnerable. We are all disciples together, sometimes in the role of teacher and sometimes in the role of learner, so we need to consider how we create the environment for others to learn. Find a learning partner that you can listen to, guide, and hold accountable, and who can put their trust in you.

• Embrace your mistakes. Too often, the concept of being a disciple of Christ is associated with having everything together. This is not how we think about a student. No one thinks the third grader can calculate the velocity of a moving object on the first day of school. Calling yourself a student begins with acknowledgment that you don’t have all the answers and are prone to mistakes. As disciples, we need to see our mistakes not as failures but as opportunities for growth. We must learn to enjoy our mistakes. Those may be errors in judgement, poorly chosen words, or a swing on that golf club that didn’t work out just right. Remember, mistakes are better teachers than success.

• Check your emotions. Think back to the last time you realized you had made a mistake. The bigger the better. Without focusing on the error itself, revisit the experience of that realization. Is that a positive feeling? For most, this is an unpleasant feeling and leaves us running for the hills, thinking, “I will never do that again.” I recently had the chance to hear Brené Brown talk about this sense of being ‘emotionally snared’ and how it limits your ability to think clearly or learn anything new. That mistake you made — can you think clearly about it or are you staying wrapped up in the emotional response?

• Talk less, act more. Great, you analyzed your mistake. Unless you translate that into action, you are likely to find yourself in the same position again. Often, through introspection, the learning we gain from a mistake can be applied to numerous situations. Don’t just learn from the individual circumstance. Look for the themes, causal factors, and unique things about your personality that make that situation difficult. Now experiment with new behaviors to see what works. Trying new things helps you know how best to engage with others and get a better result.

Is it possible to enjoy your mistakes? I think so, and it happens when you have experienced more good from your errors than bad. When you have presented a mistake to the world, and you got better as a result, that leaves a mark. Lather, rinse, repeat. Over time, reframe the experience of error from fear to excitement.

Your Next Move

Take a risk and admit the next mistake you make to the most dangerous person in the room. Detect your errors and share them with a close friend you can trust, then ask them for help in changing your behavior. To walk in the ways of someone else, to become disciples of Jesus the Christ, communicate your weakness and strengthen it for the next encounter.

> Read more from Dave.

 Would you like to learn more about being a discipling leader? Connect with an Auxano Navigator and start a conversation with our team.

Tags: Dave Bair, Disciple, Discipleship, Discipling Leader

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You Mass Produce Cars, Not Disciples

by: Ed Stetzer

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Disciples Need Leaders

I wonder how many church leaders don’t even realize the success of ongoing discipleship depends partly on how well they develop leaders.

God didn’t design the church to have one person lead everyone else in spiritual formation—far too often the model of evangelical churches. Throughout the New Testament, we see leadership development and delegation—or mass participation—of discipling others.

Paul repeatedly told young pastors to entrust the ministry to spiritual people who could then pass it on to the next generation.

I’m convinced one of the reasons we struggle with discipleship is because we aren’t raising up leaders to make more disciples.

You don’t need a priest because you are a priest.

Most people who are reading this are going to be Protestants of some variety. Protestantism was in part a rediscovery that individuals do not need a priest to communicate with God.

This is a key theological issue. Peter wrote in 1 Peter 2:9 that we are a “royal priesthood” who are to proclaim the praises of Him who has called us out of darkness. We correctly assert that we don’t need another human as a priest for us to have access to God.

Protestantism universally holds this axiom—it’s a defining biblical view.

What’s interesting is that while it may be a universally held theological understanding, in practice most churches have a talented leader who explains the Bible. Otherwise, we can’t understand it. The congregants, who are supposedly priests themselves, end up asking this person what God is trying to say.

Functionally, we have adopted a very non-Protestant idea of a priesthood, as if we can’t approach God ourselves. We function as if God’s people cannot engage God’s word.

No Christian should think that.

Leadership Deficit Knows No Boundaries

Oddly enough, this problem doesn’t just exist with Christians.

Anthropologically speaking, religion is a universal constant. Every culture in the world developed with religion, and such religions tend to create rituals where they ceremonialize their religious obligation and hierarchies so they can outsource their religious obligation. The natural human experience is to turn your faith responsibility over to a ritual and religious hierarchy.

I know those reading this are from different traditions. I’m not talking about the beauty of worship that can be in liturgical form. I’m not speaking against the biblical office of pastor. This topic is about the tendency in human nature to ritualize our devotion and look to religious hierarchies.

We create rituals and priests, often so we don’t have to have personal devotion to, and a personal relationship with, the Lord.

So we shouldn’t be surprised about the trajectory that churches tend to follow. I call that “clergification,” the point when acts of faith center on clergy.

The problem is remarkably unbiblical. Some might say, “Well, I believe in clergy. I believe in biblical offices in the church, such as the distinct role of pastor.” That’s fine. Actually, so do I—but invariable someone reads into what I’ve written. Let’s try not to.

Some denominations have what we call lower ecclesiology and liturgy (low church). Other denominations have a higher ecclesiology and liturgy (high church). Some with a high ecclesiology may believe pastors are necessary to partake in the sacraments. Others with a low ecclesiology may believe anyone can engage in these things together, under the auspices of a local church.

If you are Lutheran, Baptist, Calvinist, or Pentecostal, you really do agree that clergification is a bad thing, even if you hold to the role, office, or function of a pastor (as I do). And, you really do think that the Protestant Reformation emphasis on direct access to God was just a reflection of the biblical teaching that Jesus is the one mediator between God and man.

Centralized Spirituality Is Unhealthy

Regardless of where you come down on these issues, my guess is that if you were to think about it, you would agree that too much of the ministry and mission has been centralized around the clergy. Some would even agree that it is actually hindering the life and ministry of your church.

Whether you’re a high-church Anglican or a low-church Brethren, and everything in-between, clergification has damaged all of us. This shift in missional responsibility causes clergy to become religious shopkeepers, providing the religious goods and services to the customers. These customers never get to the point where they serve as co-laborers.

God did not plan for one person to disciple an entire church, and He didn’t design us to grow via mass discipleship.

There are things that a good pastor can and should do and I will not list them all there. In the context of this article, a good pastor can lead a culture of discipleship. A healthy culture of discipleship recognizes that everyone is not only a priest, but also chosen and empowered by God to lead others into a deeper walk with Him.

Being priests does not mean we can go the walk alone. We follow those who went before, and lead those coming behind. Others led us so that we could lead. This kind of leadership development does not occur in a culture of clergification. Because of that, many churches throughout the world are addressing the challenges it presents.

Discipleship Thrives in Spiritual Small Groups

There are plenty of hurdles impeding the discipleship process. But we don’t want just to point out challenges. Many like to point out the crises and sell books, but they don’t solve problems.

So how do we move forward, if there’s a challenge, even a crisis, of discipleship and community in most churches? How do we move people from the crisis to actually some solutions?

The research behind Transformational Groups, which I wrote with Eric Geiger, demonstrates that small groups are being effective. People will mature spiritually in small groups with personal, godly leadership.

To experience effective group ministry there needs to be a de-clergification of the way you do church. This change will require the empowerment of a new band and breed of leaders throughout the church. Developed leadership differs from centralized leadership, but ultimately one of the keys to effective small-group ministry is going to be the development of leadership. We need to explore what leadership development looks like, and what kind of leaders help produce healthy group life in a church.

Have you experienced the difference between centralized spirituality and leadership development models of discipleship? How would you characterize the kind of disciples they produce? What do you think keeps pastors from developing solid leaders so they can disciple others?

> Read more from Ed.

 Would you like to learn more about the discipleship process for your church? Connect with an Auxano Navigator and start a conversation with our team.

Tags: Disciple, Disciplemaking, Disciples, Discipleship, Ed Stetzer

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4 Communication Lessons Churches Can Learn from the Brian Williams Controversy

by: Rich Birch

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Brian Williams seems like a good guy. He’s been married for almost 30 years … consistently reported news to the American public for NBC News for almost as long … gosh, the guy even won “Father of the Year”! [ref]

Over the last six months, it all started to unravel for him. He was caught bending the truth in a number of stories to make himself sound even better than he is and it cost him a lot. The pattern is that as time passed he put himself closer to the action than he really was for dramatic effect. Rather than seeing a helicopter being fired on, he told the story of how the helicopter he was in was shot down … instead of reporting on what the SEAL team did in Iraq, he claimed to be there with them … he reported that he arrived at the Berlin Wall as it was coming down, but in fact he arrived the next morning.

This story makes my skin crawl, because the same impulse that was inside Brian Williams is inside me. I can see the pride that drove him to do this, because I see that same pride in myself. Unless we keep our egos in check, we can find ourselves in the same spot that Brian did, bending the truth to put ourselves closer to the center of the action so people will be drawn to us.

The Brian Williams controversy brings up some areas we should think about carefully as we communicate in our churches:

• Let the truth get in the way of a good story // Sometimes the truth isn’t a good story. It’s not as neat and tidy as we’re tempted to make it. What actually happened doesn’t fit the narrative we’re trying to tell, so we are tempted to nip and tuck the story to fit the point we’re trying to make. We push the story from being polished to being re-written. Don’t force a story to become bigger, better or more interesting than it actually is to get your point across. Use a clip from a movie or television show … those people are in the storytelling business and will get your point across in a form that is clearly narrative in nature. (Preachers: Pay close attention to this with your kids. If you tell a story that doesn’t sound like what actually happened, they will know and it will erode their trust.)
• How big is your church? Really? // Is your Sunday morning attendance averaging 415, but you report it as almost 500 attending? Did 20 students and 10 leaders attend your youth event, but you said close to 40 people came? Did 102 people sign up for your conference, but you report well over 100 people are signed up already? It’s so easy and tempting to fall into this game. So much about ministry is difficult to track and measure, so we hold onto attendance numbers as a sign of our effectiveness. We want to be bigger than we are, because we believe it shows greater effectiveness. I recently learned that one of the largest churches in the country under-reports its numbers by a significant margin, because their lead pastor doesn’t want to get caught up in this game. My respect for that leader and this ministry shot up! I was also humbled, because I’ve played this game in the past.
• We’re not that big of a deal // I think part of where it started to unravel for Brian Williams was when he ventured beyond reporting on the news to becoming a personality. A number of times when he embellished stories, he wasn’t on the news program, but on other entertainment-oriented programs (Late Night with David Letterman, Saturday Night Live, etc.). Being a news anchor is not nearly as exciting or adventurous as what most of the guests on those programs do. Brian stretched the truth to distance himself from his normal day job and make himself look cooler. We face the same temptation as church leaders. If there was a scale of “social importance” or “coolness factor,” church leadership would be low on the list and getting lower all the time. It’s a noble calling, but what we do is misunderstood by wide segments of our communities and we could face a similar temptation to make what we do sound cooler than it actually is. I remember hearing the story of a pastor who introduced himself as a “life coach and motivational speaker,” because pastor didn’t sound good enough. I threw up a little when I heard that. We’re church leaders and, honestly, it’s not that cool. Even the biggest of churches are dwarfed by the communities they serve. Avoid the temptation to jazz up what we do for a living.
• Style over substance // Brian Williams looks like he was genetically constructed to anchor the news. In fact, he has shaped his appearance, speech patterns, gestures, eye contact and more to play that role. He was playing a character and he tried to extend it into more exciting roles. Leading within the church can present itself with a similar challenge. If we’re not careful, we can focus on external cues that help people follow us—our looks, the pattern of our speech, our clothing, etc.—but fail to develop our internal character. I recently heard a friend give some stellar advice to another friend who is the “heir apparent” to a large church. He encouraged his friend to “work on your character so when the time comes to assume leadership, you’ll have the internal life to actually accept it fully.” There is a “performance side” to our leadership within the church. We need to foster the internal spiritual life to match the external life we display for people.

I’d love to hear from you. In what other areas do you think church leaders are tempted to bend the truth? When have you been tempted?

> Read more from Rich.

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Tags: Brian Williams, Brian Williams controversy, Rich Birch, church communications, church communications lessons

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The Truth of God Must be Applied to the Heart

by: Eric Geiger

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Charles Spurgeon said, “Every Christian is either a missionary or an impostor.” As disciples of Jesus, we are simultaneously sent to live on mission. Living on mission is part of what it means to be a disciple. Biblically, there is no such thing as a disciple who does not live on mission. As Christ was sent for us, we have been sent to the world around us.

As church leaders consider “discipleship” and “mission,” they must not view these as divorced from one another, as if “we disciple people” and then later “challenge them to live on mission.” We don’t graduate from discipleship and move on to mission. Both are always essential and deeply connected. We must challenge people and teach people to live on mission as we disciple them. And we must continually disciple them as they live on mission.

Discipleship is neither information nor behavioral modification but is ultimately transformation. In the book Transformational Discipleship, we unpack a framework for transformation based on research. God is not bound by any framework, but He often transforms His people as:

• Godly leaders apply
• the truth to hearts
• while people are in a teachable posture

As the image illustrates, the convergence of godly leaders, the truth of God, and a teachable posture results in our hearts being more and more conformed to His image.

An encouragement about mission and discipleship:

In the research behind Transformational Discipleship, we discovered that an “outward focus” puts people in a teachable posture. A church that is serious about discipleship provides mission opportunities for their people, not just for the benefit of those who will be served but also for those who are serving. Mission opportunities, in reality, are simultaneously discipleship opportunities:

• A mission opportunity makes someone eager for preparation. The church member who finally shares his faith at work and is asked questions he cannot yet answer has a new motivation to learn some of the lessons he has heard for years.
• A ministry assignment puts people in a position of being wholly overwhelmed, where they know they need Him and His power. A sense of mission drives us to prayer and dependence on Him.
• A mission assignment has the potential to rock and change one’s perspective of the world, people, and the need for the gospel to advance more rapidly.

As you seek to develop doers and not merely hearers, mission opportunities put the people you serve in a teachable posture. God will use mission to transform the people you serve.

A caution about mission and discipleship:

Without the truth of God applied to our hearts, a teachable posture will not result in transformation. In other words, the truth of God must be applied to the heart in the midst of mission. If we don’t apply the truth of the gospel, mission engagement can degenerate into attempts to earn God’s favor or alleviate guilt.

We live in an altruistic society where people are encouraged to do good, to engage in humanitarian work, and to serve our society. People want a mission. And people want a law—a list of things they can check off to feel justified and approved before God. We must be careful not to make mission a new law.

Church leaders must constantly remind people of the why of mission in the midst of mission, that we serve a missionary God who came here to rescue us, that we live as sent believers because Jesus was sent here for us. Mission must not be our justification but our response to our justification.

We must remind the people we serve to rejoice more in what Christ has done for us than what Christ does through us. If awe for what He does through us surpasses awe for what He has done for us, mission is our idol instead of our response.

Jesus gives us this example. When the disciples came back to Him filled with excitement over the result of the mission assignment Jesus had given them, Jesus cautioned them to rejoice in their forgiveness rather than their influence.

The Seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in Your name.” He said to them, “I watched Satan fall from heaven like a lightning flash. Look, I have given you the authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy; nothing will ever harm you. However, don’t rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” (Luke 10:17-20)

Discipleship and mission are deeply interwoven. As we disciple people, we must help them understand that mission is part of their discipleship. And we must constantly remind people of the grace of God as they serve Him.

> Read more from Eric.

Tags: Discipleship, Eric Geiger, Transformation, Truth of God

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Developing a “Missional Moleskine” to Understand the Community Around Your Church

by: Timmy Brister

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Several years ago, I was leading a group from our church in the formation of a launch team for our first daughter church plant. In my series on “cultivating community contacts,” I shared about the “missional moleskine” (not to be confused with the memory moleskine).

When I started using the missional moleskine, I used it to gather all information from people I encountered in the daily rhythm of life. Such information included:

• their name
• when and where I met the person
• what the person was doing
• info to help me remember them
• info from conversations about their life, beliefs, and experiences.

This information would then be used for ongoing prayer as well as plans to build on (cultivate) the encounters from the past. Here is how I explained it in 2008:

Once I have gathered this information, I leave room in my journal for future encounters. For example, if I cultivate a relationship with a server at a restaurant, I will schedule my eating around their work schedule and attempt to connect with them on a regular basis, building on the previous encounters and conversations. Each successive encounter would be dated and filled out, creating a chain of commentary hopefully leading to progress in loving them and leading them to Jesus. The end result is to chronicle the movement around the mission as we cultivate relationships with unbelievers and seek to sow the good seed of the gospel in their lives as a faithful witness and relentless commitment to advancing the cause of Christ. Other benefits include specifics for ongoing prayer and intercession and research/reflection for cultural exegesis, planning, and corporate strategies.

I am focusing on making disciples through a renewed relational investment plan, and with that plan, and am reincorporating the missional moleskine with a few tweaks. The big thing I’m focusing on this year is incorporating “place” and “progression” in the investment “plan“. My goal is to see the missional moleskine turn into a travelogue for life in the city. It is tracing life on mission at home (first place), at work (second place), and in the community (third places). Living as a missionary is not about being special or additional but intentional, and the missional moleskine helps me map that out.

By progress, I am talking about the establishment of relationships with non-Christians and investing in those relationships progressively over time. It is common knowledge that the majority of people whose lives are transformed by the gospel do so through a relationship. For me, this is ground zero for living on mission.  While this may sound really elementary and basic, the starting point has to be an honest one.

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Tags: Kingdom Concept, Local Predicament, Timmy Brister

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